In a past blog we touched upon “What happens When Sexual Assault Happens to Someone You Love?” Dealing with a loved one who experiences trauma can often be traumatic in itself. Often we concentrate on the emotions and mental health of the survivor, but what about the supporters too? Don’t they need to be emotionally and mentally healthy if we want them to help survivors and lead their own healthy and successful lives? If you are a supporter or caregiver have you ever felt any of the following?
If so, you may be experiencing a common response to Trauma Exposure--sometimes called secondary trauma or compassion fatigue. Although very common and normal, this response may be very difficult to continue caregiving to others as well as taking care of yourself. But, there are ways that can help. So how do we take the steps to self-care? First we must reflect on our intentions continuously and through our reflections, we can make steps towards changing. To start ask yourself these questions based on the five directions:
If you need any support or have any questions you can also always call the Advocacy Center Hotline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at (607) 277-5000.
These ideas are further explored in the book Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk. This is a fast and easy read but extremely helpful and reflective. I highly recommend this book if you have experienced or may experience any of these struggles. After a sexual assault, you may feel overwhelmed, scared, and don’t know where to turn next. One of the first steps you might want to consider is medical attention. This can appear in many different forms, but they all have one thing in common: peace of mind that your body is physically OKAY and that they can take care of any injuries that may have happened. Your health center, private practice doctor, Planned Parenthood, and the free clinic are all great options to help you start your process of healing through physical examinations. But did you know about another option specific to sexual assault called SANE? What is SANE? Sexual l Assault Nurse Examiners are Certified Nurses that specialize in examinations for those who have experienced sexual assault or rape. They will be able to help with medical, legal, and emotional needs by thoroughly examining the body and collecting medical forensic evidence, as well as recording your personal experience. Why?
When? If possible, directly after the assault DO NOT:
If you have done some of these are or all of these or If it has been some time since the assault, SANE is still there to help and you can still collect evidence and get support and care! Where? Emergency Rooms in Hospitals, including our local Cayuga Medical Center SANE Program. Resources: DNA & Crime Victims: What Victims Need to Know. The National Center for Victims of Crime. 2008. http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbID=DB_DNAResourceCenter240
Your best friend, your sister, your co-worker, your partner, someone you love just told you they were sexually assaulted. It doesn’t matter if it just happened today or if it happened years ago. You may feel: Overwhelmed. Shocked. Confused. Scared. Numb. Disbelief. Denial. Emotionally Detached/Drained. Uncontrolled. Anxious. Angry. You’re not sure what to do next. What are you supposed to say? Are you supposed to call the police? You don’t want to hurt them but you also want to get them help. But Hold Up, Stop.
The Advocacy Center is also here to help you. Call the Advocacy Center hotline at (607)-277-5000 where on-call advocates and counselors will be able to get you and your loved ones the help they need.Lastly, if you are interested in learning more about sexual assault and how you can be a survivor supporter, look into some of these great resources: As you may see from the resources there are many additional ways to help. With so many different aspects, where do we start first? There is the medical aspect; there is the legal aspect, and the emotional and mental aspect. Over the next few blogs we’ll be highlighting some of these aspects, so you can have the tools to help you and your loved ones.
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