For this series of blog posts, I will be collecting stories and statements from survivors of sexual or domestic violence and doing my best to respectfully and accurately share their voice with readers to empower those who agreed to share and other survivors, and to educate allies about the implications of sexual violence and the healing process afterwards. -Meghan McKenzie (TBTN intern) Ashley, Take Back The Night Collective Member Empowered with a passion to share her story to validate other survivor’s experiences and filled with a strong desire to hold perpetrators accountable for their actions, Ashley immediately jumped at the opportunity to be the first person interviewed for this blog series. Although this is her first year participating in Take Back the Night, Ashley explained that she had been aware of TBTN “forever” and had always supported survivors of sexual violence from afar. Her closeness to the issue became suddenly too intimate a few years ago, when she experienced sexual violence by a trusted partner in what she now recognizes as an abusive relationship. “He had no idea that it was wrong” she told me. Despite the victim-blaming she received from her closest friends, and an unsympathetic, lethargic response from her employer (where the perpetrator was also employed), Ashley has emerged strong and continues healing through self love and seeking support. After taking time to heal and grow from her experience, this year she felt ready and called to participate in TBTN and currently serves on the collective board which plans the event. As a collective member, Ashley was part of the team that chose this year’s theme for TBTN: Justice for me too. When I asked her what justice meant to her and why this theme mattered, frustration filled her face and tears began to collect in her eyes as she described the impossible situation to get perpetrators to recognize the implications of their actions. Accountability and justice were desires she had for years but she never saw transpire, “I just want men specifically (and women) to realize how damaging a little thing can be. If you aren’t getting consent, you’re doing a shitty thing.” Through TBTN, she is now taking a stand to help other survivors demand and gain justice in their own, personal way. When I asked Ashley “why do you Take Back the Night?,” she determinedly responded “I feel like we are on the cusp of finally being heard, anything I can do to contribute, I will.” This powerful statement encompasses the passion and steadfast attitude that I aspire to have in going into Take Back the Night this April.
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“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept” -Dr. Angela Davis (Activist) Hi I’m Meghan McKenzie, a Junior at Cornell University, and I’m beyond excited to serve as the Take Back the Night Intern this year. When thinking about what I wanted to say to introduce myself and explain “Why I Take Back the Night”, Davis’ timeless quote immediately came to mind. I think it’s the unapologetic anger in her words, the urgency she feels in the moment, and her belief in herself (that she, herself possesses the power to change what she cannot accept) that really speak to me. These feelings she expressed reflect what I, and what survivors and allies nationwide are feeling during this time in history. Why do I Take Back the Night? I Take Back the Night because I cannot accept that one in five women will be sexually assaulted during her lifetime. I cannot accept that one in four adult women and one in six adult men reported reported that they were sexually abused as children. I cannot accept that 43.3% of heterosexual women, 40.2% of gay men and 50% of transgender people have experienced sexual violence within their lifetime. I cannot accept that one in three women and one in four men have been victims of physical intimate partner violence. My passions and background: I first realized my passion for ending violence against women in high school. We were learning about "bride burning", and I remember feeling physically hot with anger and disgust that this could be real, that someone was capable of doing this to another person. As I sat in class, burning up with rage, it was the first time in my life that I realized what I was passionate about and what I would dedicate my life to. At Cornell, this general passion for human rights became more refined to fighting sexual violence after participating in an Alternative Spring Break trip in NYC. There I learned about the issue of commercial sexual exploitation of children and spent time with survivors who had experienced this. I continued serving as an activist for CSEC survivors and educating the Cornell community about this issue through the club Students Against Sexual Solicitation of Youth (SASSY). Later I began working to mitigate issues of sexual assault on campus, presenting workshops to educate students about how to support a friend who has experienced an assault. These experiences led me to email the Ithaca Advocacy Center about how to get involved and my serendipitous discovery of this internship for planning Take Back the Night. What is Take Back the Night? Take Back the Night is an annual, world-wide march and rally to speak out against sexual assault and intimate partner violence and for women to reclaim the right to feel safe while walking alone at night. It is an inclusive, intersectional event meant to give survivors a platform to express their voice and come together with allies in the fight against sexual violence. To me Take Back the Night means standing up for what is right and speaking out against injustice. It means embracing and supporting survivors, and allowing them to speak when they have been silenced for so long. It means demanding justice and not tolerating apathy. It means coming together in solidarity, and changing what we cannot accept. This year our theme is Justice for me too. This theme represents community and unity for survivors, but also focuses on healing for the individual and recognizing that justice means something different for each person. Take Back the Night will be held on Friday April 27th, 2018. If you want to get involved please email us at [email protected]. |
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