For this series of blog posts, I will be collecting stories and statements from survivors of sexual or domestic violence and doing my best to respectfully and accurately share their voice with readers to empower those who agreed to share and other survivors, and to educate allies about the implications of sexual violence and the healing process afterwards. -Meghan McKenzie (TBTN intern) Ashley, Take Back The Night Collective Member Empowered with a passion to share her story to validate other survivor’s experiences and filled with a strong desire to hold perpetrators accountable for their actions, Ashley immediately jumped at the opportunity to be the first person interviewed for this blog series. Although this is her first year participating in Take Back the Night, Ashley explained that she had been aware of TBTN “forever” and had always supported survivors of sexual violence from afar. Her closeness to the issue became suddenly too intimate a few years ago, when she experienced sexual violence by a trusted partner in what she now recognizes as an abusive relationship. “He had no idea that it was wrong” she told me. Despite the victim-blaming she received from her closest friends, and an unsympathetic, lethargic response from her employer (where the perpetrator was also employed), Ashley has emerged strong and continues healing through self love and seeking support. After taking time to heal and grow from her experience, this year she felt ready and called to participate in TBTN and currently serves on the collective board which plans the event. As a collective member, Ashley was part of the team that chose this year’s theme for TBTN: Justice for me too. When I asked her what justice meant to her and why this theme mattered, frustration filled her face and tears began to collect in her eyes as she described the impossible situation to get perpetrators to recognize the implications of their actions. Accountability and justice were desires she had for years but she never saw transpire, “I just want men specifically (and women) to realize how damaging a little thing can be. If you aren’t getting consent, you’re doing a shitty thing.” Through TBTN, she is now taking a stand to help other survivors demand and gain justice in their own, personal way. When I asked Ashley “why do you Take Back the Night?,” she determinedly responded “I feel like we are on the cusp of finally being heard, anything I can do to contribute, I will.” This powerful statement encompasses the passion and steadfast attitude that I aspire to have in going into Take Back the Night this April.
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