Why do I take back the night? I take back the night because 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. I take back the night because every 98 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted, and every 8 minutes, that victim is a child. I take back the night because I am a survivor, I am a teen, I was sexually assaulted over the course of 6 years. I always felt that telling my story would help because I felt that the culture around me blames me as the victim for what had happened. I take back the night because 32,000 pregnancies are the result of rape each year and I am one of those 32,000 people, and I want justice for me, too. My offender was my mother's boyfriend and just like every kid, I just was so happy someone was there for my family and me. I saw him as my parent, my dad. The first time he assaulted me I was only 6 years old. I did not understand at the time that it was wrong because I was so young and he was my father figure who “cared” about me. I also did not understand that it would become a reoccurring thing. As I grew older, the abuse worsened: more brutal and longer lasting. The pain never went away. I was scared, lonely, and hurt, and the only thing I could do to help myself was keep quiet-- at least that is what I thought. He would say he “missed me” and that he “wanted to have a little fun for the night.” If I didn't respond, he would rip my clothes off and make me wake up, and he'd rape me, over and over. He would tell me that we would be together forever. He told me he loved me and that he was going to leave my mom because I was his girlfriend. I was disgusted. I knew I couldn't take much more of it. Before I was a “teen” I found out that I was pregnant. By him. Everything went downhill from there. I had cops come and interview me about what "happened" as to how I got pregnant. I played it off, saying it was some other teenager. They didn't believe me. They screamed in my face and told me I was a liar. After that experience, I really felt like I could not trust the justice system. I was scared for what would happen to my family if I told them the truth. I went on with my pregnancy and when I gave birth, the police came back to the hospital asked me if they could get a DNA swab from my baby and if there was anything I left out of my story. I began to cry and cry and cry and I knew from that point on I didn't want to take my child home to the man that raped me. I didn't want to open up the possibility to the same thing happening to my baby in my house. So I told, and they arrested him. Now he is in jail. TBTN means so much to me because I want everyone to know that there are people who support victims; That there are people here, in our own community, to listen and support them. We live in a culture where the victims are being scrutinized and told its "their fault". We need to shut that down. It is never a survivor’s fault. We don’t ask to be sexually assaulted. We need to start focusing on the perpetrators of sexual assault: their behaviors, their actions, holding them accountable. All of us together can create change. We can create a world that doesn't consist of rape culture, where no means no and yes means yes, where it doesn't matter what I wear because my clothes don't decide if someone is going to rape me or not. We all need to take back the night, for what is right.
1 Comment
Anon
4/18/2018 08:51:50 am
This is very powerful-- and how strong you are! Thank you for sharing your incredible story.
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